Thursday, September 13, 2012

Fear Has Crept In And Made Himself Comfortable...

So I figured since I'm not able to post any pictures for the time being I could at least post about my life, even though my writing skills are horrendous..so bare with me.  Considering fear has been a nasty visitor in my life lately, I figured I would share my story with everyone and hopefully writing about will help me through it.
You would think packing up three suitcases and flying to New York City at 32 years old, with no long term living arrangements or job, I could handle starting a new job.  But holy shit batman, I'm terrified!  It really amazes me how scared shitless I am. I go through so many emotions lately, it's like I have multiple personalities. It's as if I never started a new job in my life. I'm just so confused on why all of a sudden life is handing me the fear card right now.  The move to New York City was obviously a huge change and transition in my life. I guess maybe because this last year the feeling of comfort has come and gone and about three weeks ago I was surprisingly coming up on the good things happening in my life. I was finally going to have time to work on my photography all awhile making enough money to pay rent and save up at the same time. Then bam! It all got taken away from me.  I've come to realize, New York City will rarely hand you mediocracy, it's all about extremes. It's either really good, or really bad. Which I'm not a fan of. All I want is just a little contentment.
So it's about that time kids. I've got to shower and get ready for my trial shift. I think I'm going to vomit.

In the words of Whitesnake..
"And here I go again on my own 
Goin' down the only road I've ever known"


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